Justin Raimondo is right; we are living in Bizarro World. We are living in the alternate universe where everything is just the opposite of what our sensibilities tell us should be normal. Like the "contrare" Indian in "Little Big Man," when someone in Bizarro World says goodbye he means hello, and when he says hello he means goodbye. Learn to live with it and things will begin to make sense once again.

Compassionate conservatism and diplomacy have as their motto "if you aren't with us, you're against us and we'll chastise, dishonor, denigrate, degrade, belittle, malign, vilify and ruin you." This is consistent with democracy, debate, and free speech in Bizarro World. Ask the French. The same people who helped our forefathers get rid of the British and gave us the statue of liberty.

With an overwhelming trade deficit, we are trying to even things out by making the rest of the world hate us. Mickey Mouse and chemically treated beef will save the day.

President Bush has a plan to stimulate the economy. Eliminate the double taxation on stock dividends. After all, the corporation paid the tax once. Why should the investor pay it again? Makes sense to me. Give the millionaires a break. They might even spend the money in our country.

Former Democratic Minority leader Dick Gephardt is against the Bush plan and wants to raise income taxes. He says; "a raise is an alternate tax cut." I'm not kidding, that's what he said. Mr. Gephardt is a leading figure in Bizarro World.

All of television's millionaire monitor readers are in favor of the Bush trickle down tax break. If Katie Couric makes $14 million a year, what do you suppose Wolf Blitzer, Paula Zahn, and Hannity & Colmes are pulling down? Not having to pay a tax on their dividends will certainly help them where they need it.

But don't do the same for the little guy, the American workers, and the backbone of the country that are supposedly responsible for two-thirds of the economy. The average citizen can afford double taxation in the hundreds of billions every year with excess payroll taxes, travel fees, and every time they go to the gas station. After all, if it wasn't for the $89 billion surplus from Social Security, and the $50 billion from other entitlements generated last year, how could the government afford its extravagant spending, favors to lobbyists, and pork barrel spending?

Do as little as possible to help some of the people some of the time. And when you do, make certain that you're helping your own favorite people. Make sure Halliburton and the Carlyle Group get all of the contracts to rebuild little third world nations that we obliterate. That's fair in Bizarro World. Only the peon city and state governments should be forced into open competitive bidding and accepting the lowest competent contract.

On the other hand, the big boys can move to other countries for cheaper labor and put Americans out of work, making a lot of them accept different careers at less money just to put something on the table. We've even got India processing income tax returns and doing long distance telemarketing. In Bizarro World, you wouldn't expect the big boys to go for cheaper labor when there's big money to be made in government contracts and Americans to foot the bill.

And what's the little guy supposed to do? According to Ed Peters, chief investment officer at PanAgora Asset Management in Boston, a man who must know what he's talking about, the latest downturn in the economy is because "people got caught up watching the war, instead of doing what Americans are supposed to be doing—spending."

Watching television and spending. Do you get the feeling that something is missing here? Something like working, having a job, raising and feeding a family. If you think those things are a consideration by the likes of Mr. Peters then you don't understand Bizarro World. Things like that don't matter in Bizarro World. Get out their and do your duty—spend.

And if you don't have the money for a shopping splurge, put it on your credit card. Dozens of banks will call you the minute you're old enough and offer you all sorts of pre-approved credit, even if you're still in school and haven't a job yet.

The government does it. Since the beginning of this recession that we're not in, the government has increased its budget by at least $100 billion every year. So what? If they need more money and tax receipts aren't there, they just put it on the credit card, borrow it. Since the beginning of fiscal 2002, the national debt has gone up $638 billion; $421 billion in fiscal 2002, and $217 billion so far this year.

It would be a lot more, but the government hit the national debt ceiling on February 20th and hasn't been able to borrow for the last 65 days of so. Actually, they could go on forever living within their means, spending only the money taxpayers submit, but that wouldn't make any sense in Bizarro World. In Bizarro World extending the credit card and passing the tab on to our children and grandchildren is "the responsible thing to do."

Any moment, the government will be telling us how much money they're saving by selling Treasury securities to investors instead of putting it on the Federal Reserve's equivalent of a Visa or Master Card. After all, the government's annual compound interest hovers around a mere six percent while the average Joe is paying as much as nineteen percent on his unpaid credit card balance. Look how much more frugal the government is.

A grammar school teacher told her students that frugal meant "to save" and asked them to write a story using the new word. One little girl turned in a story that went like this; The beautiful princess got lost in the deep dark forest. One day, exhausted from not eating and not being able to find her way back to the castle, the princess saw a handome prince on a white horse. She yelled; Oh prince, oh prince, please frugal me. So he frugaled her and they lived happily everafter.