DON'T GIVE UP
HELP IS COMING
Today, Granada became the second Caribbean nation to join the unilateral "coalition of the willing" to support President Bush in the invasion of Iraq and to throw the full support of its well known medical facilities and banana fields behind the effort to change the evil Hussein regime. Colin Powell promised a U.S. contract to build a supersonic airfield complete with tourist baggage inspection facilities and inspectors, four beachfront hotels, and to supply downtown billboard tourist advertising in the new Baghdad.

Prime Minister Owen Arthur of Barbados, the other Caribbean nation, expressed some reservation about an airport in nearby Granada, but General Powell is on his way to assure the Prime Minister that this will in no way interfere with the tourism business in Barbados.

Botswana, Singapore, Kyrgyzstan, Lebanon, Bulgaria, Seychelles, Honduras, Andorra, Liechtenstein, Herzegovina, Malta, Sri Lanka, Tuvalu, Palau, Belgium and Mozambique are already firmly behind the U.S. President's mission to overthrow Saddam Hussein and are not asking to see Colin Powell's presentation of the final proof.

San Marino, the oldest nation in Europe, stands fully behind President Bush and can't understand the hesitancy of the rest of "old Europe." That's San Marino folks, a wonderful place to visit with beautiful beaches and plenty of pizza.

Meanwhile, people in the United States seem almost evenly divided in their attitudes towards an invasion of Iraq. One half are against the invasion, with a good number of these reluctantly claiming to go for it if the UN makes the decision for them.

The other half seems to be divided into four parts. First, there are those with the ethics of a pregnant fox in a forest fire. These people are against anything that can possibly be classified as a potential threat or having the means to build into a potential threat to their sense of security.

Secondly, there are those waiting for divine intervention. These people believe that if Bush were wrong, God would have struck him down with a lightning bolt or changed him into a pillar of salt. And if you throw your money up in the air, God will keep what he wants.

Third is a majority who believe that the United States has certain duties as the last remaining superpower and that the richest nation in the world, in debt up to its eyeballs, must stomp on anyone who gets in its way, even talks about offering resistance, or tries to infringe on our patents for weapons of mass destruction. They daydream of finally being able to install that gun rack and driving their SUVs across Iraqi deserts yelling; freedom for anyone left alive in Baghdad.

Lastly, there are those who simply don't have time for such matters and are much more concerned with recent findings that bread isn't the "staff of life" after all. With most of the local fish contaminated, they worry about a second coming and if Christ will once again miraculously provide them with too many loafs and fishes instead of the vaccines they really need.

In its entirety, the people in this second half of the nation all go to church on Saturday or Sunday and then walk outside to discuss the best ways to make money nowadays or stomp on other nations threatening our higher moral way of life as depicted on television news.

Post Script: Back in the Fifties, my eight year old son used to get a kick out of opening the door of any "Schlitz on Tap" shot-and-a-beer bar in Chicago and yelling "don't give up, help is coming." Then he'd run down the street and wait for me or his friends to catch up. He did this a lot and I didn't stop him. Evidently, it caught on with some of the eight AM drinkers or at least some of the bartenders. But people with sexual inhibitions or deviations felt that the word "coming" was obscene and changed his slogan to "help is on the way" a much softer and apparently less offensive though less direct way of saying it. Believe me, it was never my son's intention to imply that "help" was anything other than arriving soon. And I still think his way was more succinct. I told him to stay away from those gay bars.