Aye, me buckos, from this day forward you will be "personing" the helm and other terms you might have used will be stricken from vocabularies. Listen not to those old seapersons drinking rum and telling tall tales of the "man-o-war" or "thar she blows."

Pulling away, the oarspeople had the captain's last order ringing in their ears—"person the lifeboats, the vessel's lost to Mabel's locker."

Two bells into the deadperson's watch, the cry came from the crow's nest—"person overboard."

Darcy Lever's "Young Sea Officer's Sheet Anchor" will no longer be referred to as "the key to the leading of rigging and practical seamanship." All references to "manning the yards" or "her bottom" will immediately be edited out. Other terms like "hawse holes, companions, sextants, poopdecks, pooping and heeling" may, upon further evaluation, also be stricken from the book. The word "maneuvering" will simply be cut to "euvering" as well as __power, __kind, and especially __dating.

Of course, flying the Jolly Roger will no longer be permitted without also flying the Jolly Jane.

In times when the captain of the ship goes down into the galley to ask the cook what course to steer, or surveys the opinion of the crew, these changes seem long overdue. And, of course, the crew has learned that navigating the ship isn't all the mysterious science it was once cracked up to be. Mutiny is much more likely today.