|
DADDY WARBUCKS
AND LITTLE ORPHAN ANNIE |
|||||
| Daddy Warbucks is an evildoer. He knows that Little Orphan Annie is working hard to save for her college education. She puts part of the money she earns into a piggy bank. Money that she gets from doing dishes, mowing the lawn, baby-sitting, making beds at the nearby motel, running errands for big-wigs, and even investing in the stock market when business is good. The minute Annie was old enough, she got a night job at Enron. Warbucks knows when Annie puts money into her piggy bank and he steals it, all of it. At first, he would listen for the tinkle of coins dropping, but now he has mechanized things. Now he's got a trap door that sends the money through a hidden Rube Goldberg apparatus that immediately channels the money to designated payouts. Warbucks also knows almost exactly how much Annie will be depositing so he can plan ahead. He knows this from breakfast and dinner conversations with Annie where the subject is always about her business. He calls it the Golden Dame's Production or GDP for short. Whenever Daddy Warbucks takes Annie's money, he immediately puts a note inside her piggy bank. The note records the amount taken and tells Annie that she must replace the missing money, that it's her duty to do so. He also adds six percent to these notes rationalizing it in his mind as interest she must pay on the money stolen. Sometimes he even tries to convince himself that he's just borrowing the money. It's a big piggy bank, huge in fact, now stuffed with many notes totaling more than $2.5 trillion. Annie's been working hard and dutifully putting her excess payroll into the piggy bank. One day, while Warbucks is lunching with New World Order friends at the World Trade Center, he tells these investors that he doesn't have any piles of money in his house or buried in his back yard. All he has in trust accounts is debt. Annie heard about this through a friend who worked as a part-time waitress at the restaurant. She was very surprised because Warbucks had always told her that the piggy bank was a trust fund and she knew that a trust was the same as a vault or lock-box that no one but she and Daddy, being one of the trustees, could get into. Annie still doesn't know that her piggy bank is nothing more than a debit black hole full of bogus notes, but she's getting suspicious after what Daddy Warbucks said at the restaurant. But maybe her friend was wrong. Maybe she heard it wrong or got things mixed up and confused. After all, how can she believe a friend compared to her long relationship with Daddy. Just to be sure, Annie asked many experts what would happen if she was ready to go to college and found that there was nothing in the piggy bank but promissory notes from Daddy. Notes that look like IOUs, but on closer inspection are really UOUs. These experts all knew exactly how Daddy Warbucks operates. They all told her the same thing. If and when that happened, she would be faced with the tough decision to either (1) make more money, (2) borrow from friends, or (3) not go to college. Annie said: Hey, that's the same thing I would be doing if there was no piggy bank at all. It's the same thing everyone is faced with all the time if they have no savings. What good did it do to work and put all that money in a piggy bank? One day, she was about to break open the piggy bank and confront Daddy Warbucks when suddenly, out of the blue, a swarm of locusts descended on the city seeming to center on their house and they've been dealing with the locust problem ever since. Now, late at night when she's tired of swatting bugs and between dreams of going off to Washington to become an intern and/or going to Georgetown University, Annie has a nightmare that Daddy Warbucks caused these locusts to come to their house, but she knows Daddy is a hero because everyone tells her so.
|
|||||