Twelve Days of Elections
(sung to the tune of "12 Days of Christmas")
On the first day of voting, my country called on me
For a Presidential Victory

On the second day of counting, my country gave to me
Two States a-hanging
for a presidential victory

On the third day of counting, my country gave to me
Three County Recounts
one state still hanging
for a presidential victory

On the fourth day of counting, my country gave to me
Four Lawyers Ranting
three county recounts
one state a-hanging
for a presidential victory

On the fifth day of counting, my country gave to me
Five Network Spins
four lawyers ranting
three county recounts
one state a-hanging
for a presidential victory

On the sixth day of counting, my country gave to me
Six Geezers Griping
five network spins
four lawyers ranting
three county recounts
one state a-hanging
for a presidential victory

On the seventh day of counting, my country gave to me
Seven Judges Judging
six geezers griping
five network spins
four lawyers ranting
three county recounts
one state a-hanging
for a presidential victory

On the eighth day of counting, my country gave to me
Eight Chads a-dangling
seven judges judging
six geezers griping
five network spins
four lawyers ranting
three county recounts
one state a-hanging
for a presidential victory

On the ninth day of counting, my country gave to me
Nine Carnaks Staring
eight chads a-dangling
seven judges judging
six geezers griping
five network spins
four lawyers ranting
three county recounts
one state a-hanging
for a presidential victory

On the tenth day of counting, my country gave to me
Ten Lawsuits Pending
nine Carnaks staring
eight chads a-dangling
seven judges judging
six geezers griping
five network spins
four lawyers ranting
three county recounts
one state a-hanging
for a presidential victory

On the eleventh day of counting, my country gave to me
Eleven crowds a leaping
ten lawsuits pending
nine Carnaks staring
eight chads a-dangling
seven judges judging
six geezers griping
five network spins
four lawyers ranting
three county recounts
one state a-hanging
for a presidential victory

On the twelfth day of counting, my country gave to me
Twelve More Days of Wrangling
eleven crowds a-leaping
ten lawsuits pending
nine Carnaks staring
eight chads a-dangling
seven judges judging
six geezers griping
five network spins
four lawyers ranting
three county recounts
one state a-hanging
for a presidential victory

Once, Twice, Three Times A Loser
(Taking a few liberties with Isaac Hayes' song)
Thanks for the times that you've given us
the memories are all in our mind
and now that we've come to the end of our rainbow
there's something we must say out loud:

(chorus)
You're once, twice, three times a loser
and we love you

Yes, you're once, twice, three times a loser
and we love you
we still love you