AL THE CHAMP
		Friend to the masses. Champion of the working class. Supporter of the common man, the little guy, families, education and tax cuts. Fighting for the people, not the powerful. Promising to work for you every day. Al Gore is simply wonderful, isn't he? Never mind that he comes right out and tells you that he's going to steal hundreds of billions from your Social Security and Medicare money—trillions, in fact. Never mind that what he calls a "surplus" is all extra money you've already paid to these entitlements when they didn't need it. Never mind that the billions he's already stolen from Medicare could have bought all the prescription drugs the elderly will ever need. Never mind that the billions he and his cronies have taken from Social Security could have provided a pension system as good as the one they put together for themselves.
		Somebody's got to pay off the national debt, right? Let's get on with it. After all, you wouldn't expect politicians to cut back on their pork barrel spending, favors and repayment to their loyal supporters would you? Where else are they going to get the money? Industry needs every favor it can get. Union bosses need all kinds of help, particularly since they've had to concentrate on enrolling teachers and government employees. There's no waste in government. And there you are, taking extra vacations, playing lotto, buying computers, making the economy thrive. Obviously, you've got money to blow. Why shouldn't Al have more of it? You're already paying billions in extra taxes for health care, retirement, gasoline, and a dozen other taxes. And you don't seem to care where this extra money is spent. So, let's throw it against the national debt. The rich and powerful may pay the bulk of the government's income tax revenue, but entitlements like Social Security and Medicare are paid by everyone. Many even pay more in FICA taxes than they do in income taxes. 141 million workers, all paying 12.4 percent of their income in FICA taxes. There's so much money involved that Al can even promise you a rebate. Give him another hundred billion and he'll give you back a billion or two, just like a car dealer. Cash in hand. Once you've signed the contract by electing him, he can afford to give you a discount that was really yours in the first place. No payments until 2001. Too bad so many on the other side want to go back to the days of back-alley abortions, coat hangars and midwives. Otherwise, we might have a clear cut choice this election. And isn't it nice that in a country founded on the idea that all are created equal with religious freedom, it only took 170 years for a Catholic to get into the game and another 40 years to have a Jewish breakthrough? While the real problem is that most people don't even know when they're being discriminatory. Imagine what it must be like to be a dark skinned female Zoroastrian in this government without prejudice. Wasn't it Margaret Thatcher who said: "If you must claim to be a leader, you're not."