All we have to do is boycott one of Florida’s main products—tourism. Leave it for the Gore supporters and see what happens. Remind the people in Palm Beach, Ft. Lauderdale and Miami of where the bulk of their revenue comes from, especially this winter.

Tired of what’s going on in Florida? Cancel your trip to their beaches. The islands of the Bahamas have more pristine white sand anyway and it doesn’t cost any more to fly to Nassau than it does to fly to Miami. Plan spring break in Paradise Island, Freeport, Eluthera or symbolically Georgetown, Great Exuma. Spend Christmas and the New Year in the land of Junkanoo. You’ll love it.

Got a yacht in South Florida? It’s about time you made that trip across the Gulf Stream anyway, isn’t it? You can even buy most of your supplies in the islands stretching one after another all the way to South America. The greatest cruising area of the world.

Besides that, there are always the islands off Georgia, South Carolina and as far North as Wrightsville Beach. I hear Hilton Head is a great place, and didn’t Palmer-Johnson recently open a huge marina/boatyard in Savannah? Hasn’t Charleston always been a major seaport? Maybe it’s time to soak up the sun and some American history as well.

You will not find many items of antiquity in the bus stop bilges of South Florida unless you start looking for “Crackers” and “Conchs” under every rock, behind every palm tree or what’s left of the mangroves. The narrow strip of land right next to a swamp rapidly evolves and changes almost overnight. It’s a developer’s paradise. Most of the natives left long ago, surrendering their native land to the fast buck artists and carpetbaggers from New York.

Got a house, apartment, or condo down there? Think about renting it to an Al Gore supporter. You can advertise in Chicago, New York, California or any of the urban centers of Gore country. Who knows, maybe you’ll luck out and someone like Bill Daley will be looking for a nest in his new land of opportunity. Maybe his family just needs some place to store keypunch machines.

Just think of it. Palm Beach can fill The Breakers and other beachfront hotels with all those Democrats that they bused to polling booths on Election Day. Let socialism run its course. These people deserve “a break at The Breakers” don’t they?

After taking on the responsibility of voting, the responsibility of punching their cards properly and immediately recognizing if they might have made a mistake so they could do it over, these people went right outside and immediately told Al’s people all of their troubles. It’s almost as though they encountered a fiery bush or were struck by a ray of clear thinking Florida sunshine the minute they went outside. My God, they might have made a mistake when they were inside the air conditioning. Think about how and why this might happen.

At any rate, these people deserve the right to leave their dimpled marks on the Breaker’s registry. Wasn’t it the intent of the barefoot mailman and Henry Flagler to bring wonderful things and good news to people like these Gore supporters?

Restraining intrusion for awhile might even allow the orange groves and cattle ranches to make a comeback. It certainly won’t hurt the sugar industry dominated by Palm Beach’s ex-Cuban Fanjul brothers and loyal Gore donators/supporters, will it? But maybe, just maybe, the ecological phenomenon known as “The River of Grass” will get a little relief before it’s lost forever to environmental exploiters like these.

The rest of us don’t even have to give up everything in the land of Mickey Mouse, where the “palmetto bug” is the State bird, only the Southeastern part. Maybe, if we can get a sufficient number of politicians, lawyers, bureaucrats, media people and other blowhards together on the West Coast of Florida, maybe we can even change the prevailing wind direction—blowing all the Everglades’ mosquitoes to the East Coast for a change. Then we can sell DDT “foggers” in Ft. Lauderdale and Miami.

Don’t give up. Help is coming. There’s something to be gained in almost any situation, except Algoreism. There you know you’re going to get screwed from the outset.

And I want to make this perfectly clear. I do not condone any action that hurts the people of South Florida. I love South Florida. And I extend an invitation to the Florida Supreme Court to get together in a friendly setting to discuss how we might work together to assure that a modicum of responsibility goes hand-in-hand with the right to vote.